By the time you read this weeks post, The She-Shed Podcast will have officially launched. The first episode launches this morning at 10:16 AM (IFKYK). I am excited, anxious, happy, and so damn proud of myself because I have been pushing beyond the invisible barriers that imposter syndrome has placed upon my life. I am leaning more into things that warm my heart and soul and removing any bad habits that no longer align with who I am now and becoming. I’m currently sitting in my favorite spot on the couch per usual (lol), glancing out the window at an elderly neighbor who is dressed to the NINE for church service while she waits on her ride. The sun was shining, I wonder where it went. Another day to start it off with a grateful heart. Yesterday, I did a thing. After years of debating and uncertainty, I cut and colored my hair. Unhealthy attachment to hair is really a thing. Have you ever watched Sanaa Lathan’s movie “Nappily Ever After“? I’m telling you, I couldn’t relate to a movie more. As black women, we tend to let hair define us. It’s like it gives us power, attention, status. Someone’s hair can be so unhealthy, split, thin etc. and they’d refuse to cut it off because it’s “lengthy”. In my case, I had been natural for over 10 years. 5 out of the 10 years my hair was completely heat trained and I loved it. And then, I got bored. I wanted to curls. My hair was so fine from the constant heat that curls barely existed with flexi rods or even a curling iron. So, I reverted back to my kinky curls, and that was a process okay !! But I did it. And I honestly loved it for the first year probably, but that was it. And then, I got bored again. I went between protective styles, barely seeing or touching my natural hair. I would wash it and then back into a protective style it went. This went on for years. Until I booked an appointment for a color and cut. Because simply put, “I am NOT my hair“. Today, I feel free. I feel light. You never notice just how much negative energy and trauma hair holds until you get rid of it. It was honestly dead weight. They say when a woman cuts her hair, she’s about to change her life. And yesterday, I did just that. My transition this summer has been one for the books. I cannot tell you just how much my tribe has showed up and showed out for me time and time again. They had aided in making this relocation nearly seamless and so very comfortable. I am so grateful for each and every one of them involved. I still don’t think I’m ready to share this monumental decision with just everyone yet, I’m still basking in it all. Privacy > Secrecy. Now that my hair is officially out of the way, it’s time to move on to the fun stuff. Choosing paint colors, home decor shopping, frequent visits to Lowes and IKEA. Harassing all of the men in my life to hang things, installation here, heavy box there lol. At this very moment, I am feeling incredibly grounded and full of gratitude. Feeling so damn good about what’s to come. Today’s take away from this blog post is to “Trust the process“. Nothing major that you decide to do will produce overnight results. You have to have faith and a ton of patience. Only then will you reap the benefits of what has been awarded to you. Cheers to an amazing upcoming week my loves, be great today ! #blackgirlblog #womeninmedicine #publichealth #sheshed #blackgirlwriting

10:35 A.M on a 73 degree Sunday morning. The last Sunday of the summer. I’m here on my favorite spot on the couch, glancing out the window at the leaves glistening in the sun. My worship playlist is on shuffle and I’m lip syncing with Chandler Moore. Life is so good. Believe that I’m rushing through this post this morning because I need to start getting ready for brunch soon before my cousin kills me lol. So here we go. Again, this is officially the last weekend of Summer. Have some fun outdoors today. Take a walk, find some grass to sit on and read. Go day drinking and sit on the patio, maybe even have a last minute picnic. Whatever it is that you may choose today, just do it. My theme this week was “releasing”. Now that I think of it, that’s probably the theme of my life these days. I’ve been releasing and letting go of all kinds of things for such a long time that it’s become part of my new normal. This week, I found myself releasing the belief that I need to have my entire life figured out “right now” and it has been so liberating. I feel absolutely no pressure to achieve socially endorsed goals. Because if we’re being honest here, that’s exactly where these expectations are coming from. Online. I feel like I say this every few months but please do what works for you. You do not have to make life decisions based on what the internet is telling you or isn’t “acceptable“. Do you. One of the most beautiful parts of my growth is the ability to make my own decisions and stand firmly in them. No longer letting other’s opinions shape the way you feel or determine how you move is a powerful way to live. Life is too short to live it based on the rules of others who serve no purpose to your life. Please okay, remind yourself who the fuck you are girl. I am so content within myself, my goals, the expectations I place upon myself, so much so that another person could never be able to change my mind on how I “should” be doing a damn thing. I’ve broke those cycles of constantly comparing my marathon to the sprints of others years ago. And I know that this all is so much easier said than done. It’s so easy to see the lifestyle or success of another and wonder just what their blueprint was and if it’ll work for you. I’ve seen it happen far too many times. But know that life does not work like that, at all. Sometimes, your evolution requires you to step away for awhile, to opt out, to have more alone time, to be more still, to be a little more silent, to not be as social as you were. Let me say this, if you need this, do it shamelessly, fearlessly, and without any doubt. Your soul will lead you to where you need to be. Tune in, and trust. You know I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t sprinkle some personal experience into my weekly post. At one point, I found myself in the most uncomfortable space where EVERYTHING about me was changing. My hobbies, my goals, my ideas of what fun was, and just about everything that once made me happy had changed. Literally, everything. It was such an unfamiliar space for me to live within. BUT, it was needed. It was a reset. Life truly does begin at the end of your comfort zone. Step out and embrace it. I’m at a space in life that I never knew even existed. Peace is really wealth. And baby, I am rich in it. I protect my pace at all cost. I’m willing to sacrifice, to lose, to disconnect, unfollow, unfriend, block and break ties with whoever or whatever attempts to interrupt my peace and happiness. I only connect with those who have my best interest at heart. Please, do not take my distance personal. Wait, actually please do. This year has changed my view on life, love, friendship and family. This journey has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me. I’m in my DS2 season, and at this point, I am who you say I am. #blackgirlblog #blackgirlwriting #publichealth #sheshed

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Wow. This is something that I’ve learned time and time again over the years. And it makes so much sense because if you choose to stay in comfort just out of feeling safe and secure, are you really even living? I’m sitting here on my couch, staring out of the window, watching the sunlight bounce off of the summer green leaves. The leaves that’ll soon turn burnt orange, or even red, and then, wilt away and die. As crazy as this may sound, I am so excited for the fall. As much as I love the summer, as much as I enjoy my August birthday, I am so looking forward to the fall like weather. The new TV shows that’ll premier, the introduction to this years holiday seasons. All of it. The fall is proof that endings can be beautiful too. And I’m here for it. I woke up this morning after having a dream about my future wedding. It was so beautiful. And when I woke up, I had to stare around for a second to make sure that I really wasn’t at said wedding because it felt that real. A wedding, but most importantly a healthy marriage is something that I do want for myself in this lifetime and I do know that if it is in God’s plans for me then this is exactly what I’ll get. And if my man just happens to be reading this as well, I pray that this love of ours never expires 🤎. I want to dive deep into a thought really quickly. Yesterday, I had a really big AH-HA moment. And it allowed me to realize just how shallow I really can be. It’s been about three months since my relocation and as I am finally beginning to settle in and get into life’s newest routine, I had a really big decision to make. Wow, my first big girl decision in my new city. One that could’ve drastically changed the trajectory of my existence here. Now, I may be dramatically dragging it, but would I really who I am if I didn’t bring the drama and theatrics with me? LOL. But seriously, once my mind is made up, it’s made up. I may reach out to my friends or family for an “opinion”, but again, my mind has already been made up and I’m actually just looking to see if you agree with me or not. Once I realize that you don’t, then I’ve already mentally left the convo. VERY SHALLOW. Which is why yesterday after this AH-HA moment, I sat around salty because how did ya’ll really almost let me make such a HORRIBLE decision and not try to convince me otherwise? The moral of this all is just because you can financially afford to make a mistake, that doesn’t mean you should ever try to actually make the mistake. You get what I’m saying? Society is going to “Black Girl Luxury” and “Soft Girl Era” themselves into tons of debt and they don’t even see it coming. It is disingenuous. Doing it for yourself is one thing, but doing it for the sake of views and likes on social media to look apart of the “Elite” is absurd. Manipulating shit to fit into a lifestyle that you really aren’t living is WILD. The pressure to “contentify” your life to make it consumable to the internet is insane. From relationships, to birthdays, to pregnancies, careers, apartments, The pressure for human beings to turn into brands is both expensive and exhausting and very taxing on your mental and emotional being. Social media has not ruined my reality at all. I laugh, close the apps, and live in the real world. It no longer has control over me, Ya’ll be easy though… If I had to name this period in my life, I’d title it “Foundation”. I am in a beautiful period in life where I have made peace with any desire to find comfort or be attached to anything, anyone that does not support this phase of foundational building for me. Life, to me is about navigating through all areas and making sure that I am making the decisions that are beneficial to my future. Even with a positive mindset and a healthy heart and mental, I still catch myself having doubts, lacking faith and displaying moments of fear. It is relatively easy to feel uncertain. You will not always be sure what direction to go in, or what decision to make. It’s okay to be uncertain at times about your life’s journey. However, uncertainty does not mean that you will never find your way. Your quality of life is dependent upon you. Remember, with everything in life, you get what you put out. Today, I am thankful for my new mindset, thankful for years of therapy, for my MILLIONTH decision to change my diet, for how often I’ve moved and challenged my body, for traveling, for the silence, for the obstacles, for family and friends, for financial stability, for really good credit, for my career, for nature, and for everything else that I’ve repaired. I NEEDED IT. Having the people that I love around me while I’m on the journey is the most important thing to me. Happy Sunday my loves, remind yourself who the fuck you are today. xoxo, La. #blackgirlblog #publichealth #sheshed #fyp #mentalhealth #selfcare #healedgirl #blackgirlwriting

I remember the days I used to wonder if I’d ever be in the position that I’m currently in today. And now, here I am. Sitting in previous prayers. Faith and Patience. Lot’s of it. But also, ALOT of God as well. Let’s not forget that man. Of course that isn’t the entire recipe, there were many more ingredients involved, like pressure, anxiety, sacrifice, discomfort, negativity, if you can think of anything else, we’ll throw that in there too. Lol, the journey was a mess. Nonetheless, it was ineluctable for my growth. I’m currently sitting propped up on the couch, staring at the gloom outside, sneezing my life away as I lose this battle with my allergies, with tabs open for bar carts, floor length mirrors and still deciding where I’ll set up my Pellie.(That’s short for Peloton for the non – workout girlies lol). Life has been pretty good to me, and I am forever grateful. The other day, I wrote a letter of promises to myself and ya’ll I was basically over here crying and throwing up (I really am so dramatic, but it’s the Leo in me) because it really dawned on me just how much I truly love myself. It has been such a pleasure enjoying this “Journey of Me“. The self-care, the self-love, the softness, the grace, the kindness. It is all necessary. Healing. It is necessary. I read a quote on Twitter the other day and I want to share it with you all: For me I think this is the best way to describe healing. Imagine deep cleaning your house. It gets messier before it gets clean. Healing is similar. Your pulling shit from under your bed, purging your closet, and taking out the trash. Then everything eventually just gets better. @triceclark Listen…… perfectly said. I’m pretty private when it comes to certain shit but I’m also an open book. I make sure to share the downside of situations because life isn’t perfect for any of us and I’m not ashamed of what I go through. The “me” online is the “me” in real life. Encouraging, positive, motivating, peaceful, unapologetic. Look at me tooting this damn horn lol. BIG UP YUH SELF LA ! I know that I say this often online but I want everyone to fall in love with themselves. Date yourself. Romanticize your life. Spend time with yourself. Love on yourself. Extend grace to yourself. Hype yourself up. Big up every single thing that you’re doing. Forgive yourself, and lastly, enjoy yourself. And this is not me telling you to remain single, leave men alone, be alone. Because you can do all of this with a partner indeed as I am living proof. I am just promoting individuality because at times we get so wrapped up in life, in people that we lose ourselves, and it isn’t that easy to find our way back. I’m in a season. A season of growth and maturity. I can sense a literal shift in my life and in my mentality and ya girl is just so grateful, thankful, and blessed. Things that I once responded to with emotion, I am now responding with logic. I am a constant work in progress but I’m here doing the work to create the life that I want to live. Always remember that your journey is your journey. It was crafted specifically for you so not everyone will understand it. Make sure to always remember this if the opinions of others begin to cloud your mind. Stay the course, always. I manifested my entire life. Everything that I sit through daily is something that I created, something that God created for me. My career, what my life look and feels like, my salary, healthy love, and a life that I don’t always need a vacation from. I am currently the happiest and mentally healthiest I’ve ever been. I only feel peace and abundance. I created a life that is rooted in quality, comfort and ease. It’s so hard for me to write about happiness because to some, no matter how well it may be written, they’ll always interpret it negatively. And this is never me being braggadocios. This is me showing others that your life can be anyway you want it to be as long as you show up for yourself and do the work. In the next coming weeks and months, I have so much in store for the blog and for The She-Shed and I am so excited yet nervous at the same damn time. Because, perfection. Duhhh lol. But no, seriously I’m so excited and I thank God for giving me this creative mind of mine because wow, at times I truly surprise myself. We’re going to be creating Victory jars, building capsule wardrobes, staying productive by utilizing NOTION, updating resumes, learning new recipes, SAVING money. Listen, we love a well-rounded woman right? & YOU are that sis ! I just realized that I didn’t once mention how amazing my birthday getaway was. My partner knows me really well, I must say. Because this birthday was one for the books indeed. My 30’s thus far have been ALL THAT. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But I’ll save that cup of tea for another post. I’m thinking that I should start posting twice a week because I have entirely too much to say in one weekly post and you guys will be scrolling forever lol. We shall see. I hope you enjoy today’s Sunday read and have a wonderful week ahead. Love you guys ! xoxo – La. #blackgirlblog #blackwriters #publichealth #sheshed #fyp #softlife #blackgirlinluxury #blackgirlwriting

The struggle is real. The imposter syndrome, the boundary setting, the need and want to have your shit completely together, the urge to not obsess over your future, the discipline it takes to release the urge to attempt to control it. The hormones. The struggle is real. All of it. As I sit here at work preparing for my clinic block, I cannot help but to think about “What’s next?” With everything. Each year as my birthday approaches I drift into a state of stillness. Because only there am I able to really comprehend just what is about to transpire. As a Leo, an August Leo, we are just… different. So the feeling of self sabotaging, the need for control, for stability, the hunger for MORE sets in and here we are…. Just dealing with it. But not this year. At least not for me. I’ve accomplished so much within this year of 31, that even saying this is an understatement. I’ve literally done the unthinkable. So with that alone, I know that anything is possible. The clarity that surfaces each year around my birthday is always so damn magical for me. Every August brings me peace, a chance to reflect & the urge to GRIND. I look forward to my yearly reset to bring in a new year of age & wisdom. Leo Season wins every single time. I listened to a Podcast episode ( The Suga ) this morning on my commute to work and it had me feeling pretty tingly inside. Fought back the urge to tear up multiple times because it really spoke to me. Which clearly led me to start to ask myself “What’s next LaShawn?” The episode is titled “Prioritizing your Life” and it was so good for me. So I’m here wondering “What’s next?” Next in my career, with my friendships, what’s next in love for me, in my entrepreneurial journey, all around, what’s next in life? It had me wanting to text my lover and ask “What’s next for us?” And I just know that would have sent him up the wall because it’s something we speak about regularly. Yet here I am stepping into my own way. This blog post was totally random and impromptu, so pardon my infrastructure and rambling. I had to get this off my mind and heart. I remember when I used to constantly ask people for their opinion even though I knew what I wanted to do already in my heart. It was as if I was seeking permission from outside sources and at one point in life, it would nearly hold me up. Now, I just go ahead and do whatever it is that my heart desires . I’ll hear the feedback later. Life lesson: DO YOU. Every year I grow into a more powerful, secure version of myself. There hasn’t been a year yet where I haven’t surpassed my own expectations on what’s possible for me. It’s always been more peace, more money, more clarity, more rest, more joy. Every year. And I expect nothing less this year. Navigating into the “unknown” momentarily and for once, I’m not afraid. Everything with ease because God doesn’t play about me. 17 days. #blackgirlblog #blackwriters #blackgirlsinstem #womeninmedicine #publichealth #sheshed #blackgirlwriting

Lol, I know ya’ll were not expecting a late night blog post on a damn Tuesday. But, here we are. I heard on a podcast earlier that “If you think about it, go to sleep thinking about it, and wake up thinking about it, you should be doing it.” So, here I am. It felt right. It felt good to grab my Macbook out of my unpacked suitcase still tucked away from this past weekend’s stay-cation. Let me pour out these thoughts….. God knows everything that I want. After all, this is the life that he’s chosen for me, I’m just the main character. I do not have to turn off my desire for things to focus on myself. I do not have to force myself to ignore my feelings of sadness to focus on myself. But, if I don’t center what I need, I will be consumed by lack. And I can’t function in that space. Every year I grow into a more powerful, secure version of myself. There hasn’t been a year yet where I haven’t surpassed my own expectations on what’s possible for me. It’s always been more peace, more money, more clarity, more rest, more joy. Every single year. I’m currently in my disciplined era. There’s a lot of slow progress, small wins, hidden sacrifices no one really gets to see. Maybe never will, and that’s okay. I am so damn proud of ME. I’m so proud of what I’ve been making real for myself. The next step of my growth will be about me letting go of the reward. Letting go of how people perceive what I do. Letting go of anxiety around failing and even succeeding. Just doing the things I’m moved to and letting go of the rest. God will handle the rest. If you aren’t dreaming big enough, God will certainly drop an opportunity into your lap that forces you to be ready for more. It’s so terrifying but needed. Every time. Sometimes, I just smile to myself when I realize that I haven’t touched the surface of who I’ll one day become. I could pivot at any moment, or I can pivot in another few years. There is so much more of ME left to explore. I have fully removed the burden of trying to fix and impress this world from my shoulders. Imagine caring more about the applause more than the victory? Couldn’t fucking see it. The next few weeks are so very important to me. I’ll be seen less because I’ll be doing more. Having the people that I love around me while I’m on this journey is the most important thing to me at the moment. I’m really doing some of the best work of my life behind the scenes right now. God, please continue to show me just how good it gets. #blackgirlblog #blackwriters #womeninmedicine #publichealth #sheshed #publichealth #selfcare #blackgirlinluxury #blackgirlwriting

As I sit here watching the latest episode of “The Chi”, I can’t help but to realize just how busy life has gotten for me. I’ve been up since a little after 8 AM multitasking. I have a bi-weekly nail date with my cousin Danielle, a space viewing scheduled for 2 PM, I have to factor in grocery shopping, and a possible Target run all before 6 PM. Today is Sunday and for some reason, ya girl has yet to have a day of relaxation before the work week begins on Monday. Oh, and speaking of work, I should probably pick up where I left off in my last blog post. I mean, no need to gate-keep right? Lol. What do you do when you’re given a little over 2 weeks to make a decision that will certainly change your life in the craziest way possible? A little over two weeks to resign from your current role that you’ve held for the past 5 years, pack up and leave a state that you’ve called home for just one year shy of a decade, and relocate over 1,000 miles away for the opportunity of a lifetime? So again, what do you do? Hmmm, let’s see, YOU GO ! I’ve been a risk taker my entire life. It’s the Leo in me. Against all odds, my resilience is unmatched. Tooting my own horn and all because WHY TF NOT? I stopped comparing my life, my journey, and my goals to that of others over a decade ago. My path is absolutely unique and will not be shifted to match another’s nor can another duplicate my blueprint. Always love where you come from, always honor where you are at, and prepare for where you want to go. They always say “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”. Listennnnn !! Because I know this man has laughed at me time and time again. I’ve realized a while ago that this is his life, his story, and I’m just the character playing the role. I want whatever that man has for me. I asked God to show me just how good it could get and he’s done just that. Leaving Georgia meant leaving behind a legacy that I worked so hard to build. It meant leaving behind stability, comfortability, friends who turned family, it meant leaving family, endless memories. It meant leaving behind my therapist who I felt knew me better than I knew myself. But yet, I still wasn’t afraid. I want to say that I am still completely shocked at how smooth this transition has been for me. Minimal to no stress, no anxiety, no regrets, no bargaining, no fear, no resentment. I am so very grateful. I am so thankful for my growth as a woman. I am thankful for my strength. Thankful for my career growth and for me possessing the strength to get up daily and excel in life by pushing forward. I am so thankful for the foundation that I am currently building. God shows favor. Focus on you. Focus on your desires, your career goals, your finances and all that you want out of life. True success is rooted in self- focus. When you’re fully dedicated to you, everything suddenly begins to fall into place. After all, my dream girl is ME at my full potential. You can literally do anything you want in this life. The rules are fake, gatekeeping isn’t real, nothing is against you. This is the mindset that I’ve been living with and it has done wonders for me. Doors have opened up for me that I haven’t even knocked on. Stop being average. I’m proud of myself because I know just how hard I worked for this. I deserve all good things. Be proud of YOU always. Do it scared. Do it broke. Do it when they don’t understand. Do it imperfectly. Do it anyway. We are all here to experience life. Make sure that you’re grounded only in the experiences that feed your soul. LOL, I know that ya’ll read all the way to the end of this post to see if I would mention where I currently am or have relocated to. I’ll give one clue…. I’m no longer in the South. LOL, until next week my loves ! #blackgirlblog #clinicalresearch #blackwriters #blackgirlsinstem #womeninmedicine #relocating #publichealth #sheshed #blackgirlinluxury #blackgirlwriting

In the front seat of the world’s tallest rollercoaster. That’s where. This is the best description that I can provide to sum up life since my last blog post. A combination of joy, peace, grief, anxiety, success, resilience, happiness, completion, elevation, new beginnings and old endings. There’s no way I’d play myself and just drop this entire load in front of you all in hopes that you’d understand and process all that has transpired and just skip to where I am today and boom, MAGIC. Lol, hell no. So I’ll start with the trip and immediately following it. So let’s see, my last post was back in April as I was preparing for Baecation to Montego Bae. Yes, ya girl flew 1,019 miles to get twisted like a pretzel on the lovely island of Jamaica. And yes, it was so worth it. Jamaica is such a beautiful country. The natives are just as beautiful. So very humble, kind, peaceful and helpful. They made us feel at home and I loved every minute of it. Traveling has such a big place in my heart. Experiencing the world whether international or domestic is something that I wish on all who is taking the time to read this. For myself, viewing different pieces of the world always centers me. It humbles me in a pretty big way. My travels allow me to see just how ungrateful we can be as humans, and the many things we take for granted daily, like running water, food options, electricity, technology, clothing and many other things that we use daily as “necessities” when there are others around the world who have access to not even 5% of what we have and are extremely grateful and happier than we could ever be. Talk about Americans being privileged and spoiled. Tuhh ! Prior to leaving for Jamaica, I was going over my quarterly goals for 2022 and pulling myself out of a funk regarding the rescinding of a position that I was set to relocate for just one month prior (March). Ya girl got cold feet and honestly, mentally and emotionally, I was unprepared. But at the same time, I was beating myself up because I was unsure if I had made the “right decision”. “What if you never get another offer?” “What if that opportunity was sent from God and you missed your blessing?” “Why couldn’t you have just taken the position and figured life out along the way?” When I say I was all over the place, believe me please lol. However, I was also aware that what is for me will never miss me, and I sat with that. My mind was made up, I was giving myself until January 2023 to exit the state of Georgia for good. I was totally fine with this time frame. On a whim, and about two weeks prior to leaving for our trip, I applied for a position in my new career field in a state of my choice, not really thinking too much of it. I literally applied and just forgot all about it. Into the universe it went. On the plane to my destination, I received a text from the HR department of the companied that I applied for and an email extending an invitation for an interview the day after I returned from my trip. Talk about “perfect timing“. I shared the news with my man and continued on throughout the trip without responding to the email. And no, the interview invitation wasn’t on my mind at all during the duration of our trip. Again, up in the universe it went. On our last day in Jamaica, I politely responded to the interview invitation, not putting too much thought into it. If you know me, you know that I am very confident when it comes to my resume, work ethic, education and skills in its entirety. I don’t miss lol. Honestly, truly. And so the date was set and it was time to prepare. But I had no idea just what it was that I was actually preparing myself for. On May 3, 2022 my world stopped spinning for a moment that felt like forever. I still remember the voicemail and phone call that I received that crushed a huge part of my entire existence. My dog child, my soul mate, my best friend and partner in crime passed away the morning that I was set to pick him up from his doggy hotel. WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, HOW?! I had so many questions and no answers. How was this even possible? He was perfectly fine when I dropped him off. A feeling of automatic guilt hit me and I was immediately regretting taking that trip because “he needed me more”. 12 years of memories flashing before my very eyes. Life at a stand still, if you knew me, you knew Maddix. What was life supposed to be like without Maddix? I was lost. I was hurt. I was angry. I was afraid. I was alone. For the past 12 years, Maddix depended on me for love, affection, companionship, food, haircuts, walks, surgeries, cuddles, belly rubs, naps, playtime, you name it. He was such a huge part of my life. I was so confused on how to exist without him. Maddix was transported to UGA’s Veterinary School for a necropsy (dog autopsy) to determine his cause of death. YES, I am that dog mom. I knew that there was no way I could move forward without knowing if someone hurt my child, causing his untimely demise. From his necropsy, he went on to be cremated, all of this which was a waiting game. The necropsy results would take about 21 days to be resulted, Maddix was cremated 10 days following his passing and I received his remains on Wednesday 5/18 I believe. Still on pins and needles the entire time. Mind you, my interview took place just 24 hours after Maddix had passed away. Whewwwww, what a time ya’ll. The results were in, and Maddix passed away from natural causes and old age. I was content with this. It was the grieving process easier to accept. But the depression that followed soon after, was so much for me. In a matter of 14 days following his death, my life ended and began at the exact same time. With all that I was currently enduring, God dropped blessings along the way. One word: Pivot. Life isn’t always about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about dancing in the rain. Remember me giving myself until January of 2023 to relocate? How about being given until June 7th of 2022? Talk about a plot twist….. #blackgirlblog #clinicalresearch #blackgirlsinstem #womeninmedicine #publichealth #sheshed #softlife #adayinthelife

I woke up this morning and tried to start my day a little differently. After having a mini meltdown because of the current state of my skin, I skipped everything on the top of my daily “To do list” and got straight into the bathroom. Did some dermaplaning, used both prescripted and OTC (over the counter) face washes, tried the infamous TikTok ice roller method and then went in with my frozen quartz face roller. To seal in the moisture I used my CeraVe moisturizer and my Vitamin C face serum for brightness. I can’t lie, this made me feel so much better. Ya girl was having a mid-life crisis over here. It’s been so long since my skin has purged the way it has been. I’ll blame the gym for this. That and the bulk eating that I’ve been doing while on my weight gain journey. I’ll definently add getting a facial to my self-care list while on vacation next week. This time next week, I’ll be waking up to a forehead kiss and a “Good morning beautiful” from mi corazoncito on the lovely island of Jamaica. Me + a man that I’m obsessed with + a beautiful tan + thong bikinis + drunk on the beach + good food. Listen, I needed this like yesterday lol. All of the hustling that I was doing last year is paying off right now, and all of the hustling that I’m doing right now will pay off next year. It’s a repeated cycle. Which is why we have to stay consistent and keep at it. Whatever “It” is for you. My true competitor is me. My objective is me. A lot of people benefited from me playing small most of my life. But come on, we all know that I’m a pretty big deal lol. That chapter is done. Why am I making myself digestible for anyone? I’ve stepped into who I was a long time ago. It’s time that I take up space. Speaking of taking up space, this girl right here released her recent interview this week with VoyageATL discussing my journey leading up to the launch of The She-Shed. If you haven’t read it yet, I’ll link it here: VoyageATL Interview. I had such an amazing experience taking part in this interview. It really helped me to reflect on where it was that I started and just how far I’ve come with my vision. I am so damn proud of myself. I have so much more in store for my platform and I cannot wait to continue on with sharing my journey with you all. Overall, I am so grateful these days. I talk to God more than I talk to anyone in my life. Our relationship is so personal and sacred and I love it. I am trusting the timing of my life. My plans may come off as rushed, yet God’s timing is precise. Only the good things. I’ve been asking him lately to show me just how good it can get. I thank him daily for my family, friends, for my health, for giving me the space to evolve gracefully, for giving me the patience to discover myself, for giving me the gift of letting go and for entrusting me with so many responsibilities. Appreciative of it all. I’m very cautious about who has access to me these days. And please know that this is not out of arrogance, it is out of the need to continue to protect my space and energy as I continue to do the work to elevate myself. This chapter requires me to be a little less accessible. I’m proud of the woman that I’m becoming. My mindset has changed, my priorities have changed, my taste has changed, my tolerance has changed. All in all, I’m evolving and I’m 100% here for it. Returned back to myself and my heart after a brief hiatus and I am so glad that I’ve found myself again. It feels so damn good. I don’t care how “hard” this healing shit gets for you, do not cheat yourself out of doing the work. You will regret it, trust me. Stop running from yourself and do the work that’s required in order for you to MOVE AHEAD. I promise you, the only person holding you back is yourself. I am big on mental health, breaking generational curses, self-care, healing etc. This is why I built the platform that I did. I’m always here if anyone wants to talk. I am never too busy for one of you guys. You can even schedule a chat with me by clicking the link here: Chat with me ! I told you guys in a previous blog post that my weekly post are created based on the theme of my weekdays, but there really wasn’t a theme this week. This week was full of busy work related shenanigans, trip preparation, and the gym. I had a pretty relaxed week to say the least. I am so ready to hit the beach, eat until my tummy hurts and drink until I cry and throw up. LMAO, you know I love me a good cry + throw up combo. There may not be a post next week because I’ll probably be in paradise trying to give my man a son. HA ! Take me serious please. Please take this advice with you through the week though, breakup with your obsession of putting limits on your life. You are in your own way. The sky is the limit, and honestly, even that isn’t. #blackgirlblog #blackwriters #mentalhealth #womeninmedicine #healingjourney #publichealth #sheshed #fyp #blackwoman #tiktok #blackgirlwriting

As I sit here in my soft silk pajamas on this gloomy, yet warm Easter Sunday, I didn’t want to come off cliche or programmed. I have on my worship playlist and “Known” by Tauren Wells is playing through my Macbook speaker and I am just sitting here in awe. Each week, my blog post are written and curated based on my weekly “theme” if this makes any sense. For example, if the highlight of my weekdays were forgiveness, then my post on Sunday will highlight just that. This week, I had a pretty amazing week full of breakthroughs, gracious moments, all of the good things. So here we are. If you have me on social media then you know that my daily morning mantra is to simply “Start each day with a grateful heart”. This is something that I had embraced a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. What better way to wake up than being grateful for even being able to open your eyes as others weren’t as fortunate? God has his hands all over me. He always has, and for that, I am forever in debt to him. Like have you ever just sat with yourself and realized “that thing” that you thought you’d never get through, you got through? We are so much stronger than we think we are. I am a very grounded and spiritual individual. I lean on God for any and everything. He is the foundation of every aspect of my life. I don’t want to sit here and preach to you guys on this lovely day but just know that when I’m done with this blog post, you’ll understand all that I’m saying so much better. There has been plenty times in life when I felt this disconnect. This weird feeling where I knew that I wasn’t myself, but at the same time I had no idea just why. But somehow, I always knew what I needed to do in order to tap in and “fix it”. Water. I always look to the water. I enjoy visits by the water when I need to reset, refocus, ground myself, and just gain perspective. Standing in front of the ocean and just seeing how small I am compared to it always reminds me of how small all of my worries are compared to God. This man never misses. Even when I may stray away, he still remains so faithful to me. The things that you want will not always come when you feel as if you’re ready. At times, they’ll come before you’re fully prepared which then forces you to get ready. I’ve learned this the hard way. I’d ask God for something that I felt I truly wanted, nothing done on my end, no preparation for it, no plan or blueprint, just me being spoiled and begging. BOOM. Ask and you shall receive, and then there’s me just sitting there looking stupid. Because I was in no way ready for the blessings that I had requested. I always try to remind myself that moving fast < moving correctly. There is room for mistakes. There is room for imperfection. Growth requires it. When you want something different, you have to move differently. So here I am. The biggest lesson that I have learned in my late twenties and EARLY thirties (please, ya girl is only 31 lol) is learning to wait (on God). Isaiah 40:31 has become one of my favorite bible verses for that very lesson. I am so grateful for moments that allow me to see why it was best that things did not work out the way I wanted them to. These moments remind me to think bigger, envision bigger, to allow my faith to be bigger, and that I would have settled otherwise. The next 6 months of my life: ALL GAS, NO BREAKS. Literally. Sorry, I’m building my dream life. I am extremely grateful for all that God has done, God is doing, and God will do in this little life of mine. My frequency has switched up because I have realized that I am fulfilling a purpose and building a legacy much bigger than myself. God is within her. Do you know just how powerful that is? I WILL NOT LOSE. #blackgirlblog #therapy #womeninmedicine #healingjourney #publichealth #sheshed #fyp #medicine #blackwoman #tiktok #healthcare #blackgirlinluxury #blackgirlwriting

Breakfast and blogging. Because that’s just what sis is doing. Good afternoon and happy Sunday my loves. I’m over here multi-tasking early as hell on this lovely rest day. Laundry, breakfast, blogging, vacation prepping, you name it, I’m doing it. From here, we’ll move on to wash day because this gym hair had to go and tonight is the final session of “The She-Shed” with my favorite girlies so I have to look very much like something. Lol (I’m literally a walking Tiktok I promise you). Ok, seriously, let’s chat. It’s time to get down to business. I received an email this morning from my gym simply honoring me for one month of consistency with my workouts. I’m sure that I’ve mentioned this a few post back but at the beginning of March I told myself that it was time for me to lock in and focus. I knew that I wouldn’t be traveling again for at least 6 weeks or more so it was time to connect back to self. Prior to returning to the gym in March, I hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in well over 7 months. This was so unlike me because I was a gym rat for years. I found myself running away from fitness when I should have been running towards it for stress relief and centering. Contrary to anyone’s belief, I lost myself in 2021. I ran so far away from myself that I probably should have called Carmen San Diego or Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School bus for some assistance with finding my way back to ME. It was such an emotional and stressful time and my life was on freaking fire. This girl was spiraling out of control, but we can talk about that another time. So yes, as part of ME SEASON, I thought that returning back to my core wouldn’t be possible without my debut return to the gym. I had the plan, I just needed the platform (LMFAO, IYKYK). But seriously, I put my plan into action. I wasn’t my healthiest self physically. I had lost so much weight and it was beginning to bother me both mentally and emotionally. So I already knew that my fitness journey this time around would be all about GAINS. Bulking, heavy lifting, weight/muscle gaining and retention. I locked in at 3 times per week. As each session passed, I began to notice a shift in appearance in many areas of my body. Now I can be very exaggerative and delusional so I would joke and tell my friends and family about how big my ass was getting, but I was so damn serious lol. I had also decided to begin recording my weight every Friday night to track my progress. This past Friday, I stepped on the scale and noticed that I had gained 7.5 pounds. MEN LIE, women lie, numbers don’t. I knew I wasn’t being too delusional I swear. Listen, the body is BODYING and I look TF GOOD ! So please do not let me catch you in my comments when I post my vacation photos asking me who did my skinny BBL because this was gym made. No shade, no palm tree. Right now, I am truly grateful for the individuals in my life who require, inspire, advocate and demand for me to show up as the best version of myself at all times. No matter what area of life. We have officially embarked on our journey into Q2 and I made sure to check in with my tribe to share my aspirations and goals and to hear what theirs were as well. I believe I had 8 goals on my list and I have already completely one and working on my second. The one goal that has been completed was giving Ellexcee.com a NEW LOOK !! And I absolutely love it. If you can, please view the new look from a computer for a more aesthetically pleasing viewpoint and tell me what you think.I t’s giving very much “Professional Blogger” and we love to see it ! I am finding myself getting back to the things that I really didn’t have the spirit or energy to do weeks/months ago and I am genuinely happy about this. I’m now at a place in my life where I am working on loving myself more than I have ever before. I spend most of my time outside of work blogging, reading, conducting research, working on passion projects, and pouring into myself and my loved ones. Balance. Harmony. Peace. Stability. I’m allowing myself to pivot this year. Mental health is priority. Inner peace is priority. Self is priority. Happiness is priority. Do not take yourself for granted. Nourish and reflect on all parts of yourself that needs healing and self-love. Remember to be patient and kind during the process. Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path. So let it. Here’s to living a soft, healed, beautiful, and luxurious life. Cheers baby girl ! #blackgirlblog #sheshed #gym #publichealth #mentalhealth #selfcare #tiktok #girlgang #futurephysician #blackgirlwriting

I must say, as I sit Indian style on this pretty pricey lounger, sipping cold bottled water from my fancy wine glass while serene, soft music serenades from the speaker of my Macbook, I’m feeling like “I made it.” LOL. If you’ve been here for a little while now, you know that ya girl is heavy on the visual storytelling. I need you guys to feel as if you’re living these moments with me. I appreciate you all for rocking with me. Now that this week’s intro is out the way, let’s talk. First off, I do not appreciate how a few of my loyal weekly readers pressed me last week about missing the weekly blog post LMAO. Ya’ll are crazy as hell. Listen, my body told me that she was tired and I listened. Rest is what sis wanted, and rest is what she got. But look, we’re here now so let’s get to it. So what has been up with Elle Cee? Hmmm, let me think. For one, ya girl has exceeded all of her expectations for the first quarter. I clearly did not come to play with myself or anyone for that matter. I faced my fears three times this week so it’s really over for that anxiety shit. I say this time and time again but I am so damn proud of myself. The woman that I was this time last year had no damn clue how resilient, amazing, happy, healed and strong she would become. On March 4th I stepped back into the gym after a 7 month hiatus. I set a body goal and applied it to my life immediately. I became my own accountability partner and it’s been up and stuck ever since. I work out three times per week and I must say, I surprise myself each session. My strength, my endurance, my mind, my body…. So shocking to see my progress but so exciting to see my determination with pushing myself to the next level. I’ve become so emotionally healthy that I now bring out the best in those around me and I love that for us all. This is really my selfish year. My self care year, my “Know your worth” year. This is my “If you aren’t adding, you’re being subtracted” year. I turned ME season into a lifestyle and I meant that. None of the things that I want out of life are negotiable anymore. If it’s not exactly what I desire or need, I’m cool on it. Through it all. Appreciate the version of yourself from the past. Whether good or bad. There were life lessons and growth created in order for you to become the person that you are today. The journey is what makes it so beautiful honestly. Embrace it. The She-Shed has been the highlight of my year thus far. This platform has taken off to reach measures that I could only dream of. As quickly as it has been progressing, know that it has been keeping me very busy to say the least. Tonight kicks off Session 5 of our time together leaving us with just one session remaining before the platform ends for the Summer and returns in the Fall. There will be a meet and greet for all of the lovely women who have taken part in our weekly series in May and I cannot wait to share the details with you all. Stay tuned. As I close out this weeks post, I want to remind you that you can rise up from anything. You can completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent. You are not stuck. You have choices. You can think new thoughts, pretty thoughts. You can learn something new. You can create new habits. All that matters is that you decide today and never look back. It’s never too late : to start over to be happy to change direction to make things right to take a chance on yourself to be what you might have been to improve yourself and be better to start what you have been delaying I promise that I’ll get everything that I deserve out of this thing called life. The peace, the happiness, the success, the love, the family, the money, the memories, and everything else positive and pretty. The word for this season of my life is “Hungry.” I want more and I will get more. I’m never starving though. Get my drift? So wassup baby, let me take you on a journey to what winning looks like. You down? #blackgirlblog #mentalhealth #womeninmedicine #publichealth #sheshed #medicine #futuredoctor #blackgirlinluxury #blackgirlwriting