MY NEW YEAR APPROACHES.
The struggle is real. The imposter syndrome, the boundary setting, the need and want to have your shit completely together, the urge to not obsess over your future, the discipline it takes to release the urge to attempt to control it. The hormones. The struggle is real. All of it.
As I sit here at work preparing for my clinic block, I cannot help but to think about “What’s next?” With everything. Each year as my birthday approaches I drift into a state of stillness. Because only there am I able to really comprehend just what is about to transpire. As a Leo, an August Leo, we are just… different. So the feeling of self sabotaging, the need for control, for stability, the hunger for MORE sets in and here we are…. Just dealing with it.
But not this year. At least not for me. I’ve accomplished so much within this year of 31, that even saying this is an understatement. I’ve literally done the unthinkable. So with that alone, I know that anything is possible. The clarity that surfaces each year around my birthday is always so damn magical for me. Every August brings me peace, a chance to reflect & the urge to GRIND. I look forward to my yearly reset to bring in a new year of age & wisdom. Leo Season wins every single time.
I listened to a Podcast episode ( The Suga ) this morning on my commute to work and it had me feeling pretty tingly inside. Fought back the urge to tear up multiple times because it really spoke to me. Which clearly led me to start to ask myself “What’s next LaShawn?” The episode is titled “Prioritizing your Life” and it was so good for me.
So I’m here wondering “What’s next?” Next in my career, with my friendships, what’s next in love for me, in my entrepreneurial journey, all around, what’s next in life? It had me wanting to text my lover and ask “What’s next for us?” And I just know that would have sent him up the wall because it’s something we speak about regularly. Yet here I am stepping into my own way.
This blog post was totally random and impromptu, so pardon my infrastructure and rambling. I had to get this off my mind and heart. I remember when I used to constantly ask people for their opinion even though I knew what I wanted to do already in my heart. It was as if I was seeking permission from outside sources and at one point in life, it would nearly hold me up. Now, I just go ahead and do whatever it is that my heart desires . I’ll hear the feedback later. Life lesson: DO YOU.
Every year I grow into a more powerful, secure version of myself. There hasn’t been a year yet where I haven’t surpassed my own expectations on what’s possible for me. It’s always been more peace, more money, more clarity, more rest, more joy. Every year. And I expect nothing less this year.
Navigating into the “unknown” momentarily and for once, I’m not afraid. Everything with ease because God doesn’t play about me. 17 days.
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