NO CAPPIN’ WITH THIS RECAP.
It’s been a little minute since I’ve had the urge to just sit still and be. And I cannot lie, I missed this. Although my writings are words spilling out onto a keyboard, a conversation is still being had. Even if you all cannot speak back to me verbally, I can still feel the connection. The time is now 5:46 AM on Thursday December 1, 2022. A little different from our normal Sunday meet-ups, but this will suffice. I’ve been up since around 3-ish and haven’t made it back to sleep. A mixture of the heat being WAY TOO EXTREME, and a brain that would not silence itself in an attempt to force me to Christmas shop at wee hours of the morning. However, the brain did indeed win. So here I am, typing away while sitting at my favorite spot on the couch, don’t even think that I’m about to describe the scene outside of the infamous window because my blinds and curtains are closed lol.
Wow, December fucking first. We are literally days away from 2023. I really am over here too stunned to speak. Because seriously, where has time gone?! As I sit here reflecting on the past 11 months of this year, the past 5 months since my move, I am met with so many thoughts and emotion. I can only speak for myself when I say that this has been one hell of a year in both positive and negative aspects. So I’ll use this blog post as a reflection of what this year has looked like for me.
I began this year solo. Physically, no. Emotionally, mentally, yes. I hit the reset button on my life. I needed a fresh start. I knew that if I was going to follow through with the plan that I had set in place, I had to move towards it with a renewed mind. I let the baggage go, and I lived. The experience was liberating. I had no one to answer to, I put me first in all ways possible and for once, being selfish felt so right. I prioritized my time, my peace, my attention and my energy. I made no excuses, and I just lived. What a fucking time.
I hit major milestones along the way. I passed my certification exam, I finished my Master’s program, I received a job offer from a prestige organization in the city of my choice. Full circle moments. But there were also tough times. I lost a huge piece of my heart. My dog child of 12 years crossed the rainbow bridge, and this left me completely devastated. Maddix transitioned in the middle of my transition and I was the least bit prepared for our final goodbye. This was a type of grief that I was not prepared for. ROCK BOTTOM. But, not for long. Being active in therapy throughout the years has been super beneficial to me in many ways than one. Therapy has helped me to navigate through some of life’s unexplainable moments. Speaking of therapy, with me relocating, it meant I’d have to not only find new health care providers, but it also meant I’d have to break up with my therapist. Talk about a heartbreak. I will say that I totally underestimated myself when it came to coming to terms with ending my therapy sessions. However, my therapist believed more in me than I believed in myself, per usual.
Through this entire process, I’ve learned so much. You can rise up from anything.You can also completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent in life but death. Take your time with everything in life. You are not stuck, In life, you have many choices, and even then you are able to think and discover new thoughts. Life is all about learning, new things and old ways. Create new habits. All that matters is that you decide today and never look back. I just want to remind all who may be reading this to appreciate the version of yourself from the past. Whether good or bad, there will always be life lessons and growth created in order for you to become the person that you are today. The journey is what makes it so beautiful. Embrace whatever it is.
I guess you can say that these past 7 months have been spent “planting roots“. I’ve spent the majority of my time discovering new ways to exist in a busy city. Learning how and what to and what NOT to incorporate into my life to provide balance and stability. Basically, I’ve been laying my foundation. I have been excelling in my new career, prioritizing my loved ones and my self care, creating gym routines, building up endurance at Pilates, renovating and settling into home. Living in the now and embracing it all. It feels so good to be back here where it all began for me. I can honestly say that I felt when Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz that “There’s no place like home.” Because there truly is NO PLACE LIKE HOME. Ya girl is back in the Big Apple and this has probably been one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made in my entire life. I have ZERO regrets.
Life is full of wonder. There is so much beauty to be explored and discovered. I am so excited for the beautiful things that God is preparing for me. The evolution of me will be such a beautiful thing.
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